The Advice I Never Received

When I was in my Senior year of high school, I went through quite a lot of b.s. that I shouldn’t have. I got pregnant the second semester of my last year and I felt like my life was ruined. There were aspects in every part of the situation that I feel other girls should know and be prepared for in case they are to have this happen to them.

1. Make sure to check out the guy before you get together!

My son’s father, when I first met him, seemed to be an ordinary, nice guy. During our whole relationship I learned that not only was he good at lying, he was not nice at all. If you ever get with someone make sure to find out what they are all about!

2. Don’t believe the lies. 

My ex tried to tell me that he couldn’t use condoms because they didn’t fit. It was my first time EVER and I made the mistake in trusting him. Don’t be stupid like me. If he says it won’t fit then snap back with, “If it doesn’t fit in that, it won’t fit in me.” And then walk away as fast as you can. Or run. Either way, get out of there!

3. Don’t let someone push you around!

When I had gotten pregnant, I went with my ex and told his mother to her face. I felt it would be best to be an adult about these things. Now here is where this advice can go for anyone, whether you are a same sex couple or an opposite sex couple. His mother looked me in the eyes one day while we were at her house eating dinner and told me that I had to move in with her and change everything. She told me which doctor I was going to go to and where I was going to live. I was furious and when I finally went home I told my mother that she expected me to leave everything behind and I cried. I don’t care who you are or what your situation is, if someone tells you to give up everything and do what they say, don’t! His mother tried to get me to move away from everyone and everything I knew because they wanted to control not only my life, but my child’s life as well.

4. Never ignore your gut. 

This should be an easy thing to remember for anyone who’s went through a lot of teenage heartbreak in their short lives. Thankfully, this is one of the few things I kind of listened to, though it was much too late when I found everything out. I had a strong feeling something was wrong for a long time during my relationship, but I ignored it at first. It wasn’t until after I was near my 4th month of pregnancy that I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me with more than one girl and hitting on some of my friends. I confronted him about it when my friend warned me what he was sending her, and he lied right to my face. He also lied to me about his best friend hating me, and I think that was because he was afraid that his friend would give away his secret. Thankfully his friend decided once he found out for sure to tell me what was going on. I was devastated, but I got over it.

 

I was never told any good advice, and I went in that relationship happy and came out not trusting many people. I lost a lot of friendships over one guy and I feel like others should understand what I went through and try to stay away from people like my ex. He is a very violent guy and I was lucky to never have him hurt me or my child, but others are not that lucky and I think that if they were to feel as though someone cared, maybe they wouldn’t make the mistake of getting into a bad relationship.

Below you can find some links to good websites that offer advice, numbers to call for help, etc. DON’T BE AFRAID TO REACH OUT TO SOMEONE! 

Note: If you have any other websites I should add, please feel free to comment and I’ll add them when I get on again. Thank you! This could help so many!

1. T.E.A.R.- Teens Experiencing Abusive Relationships

2. The National Domestic Hotline

3. Love Is Respect

4. Areas 4 You- Keeping Girls Safe

 

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