The last three months have been both a bit scary and sad. My fiance’s best friend died and we have been struggling with all the things surrounding his death to figure out what is truth and what is rumor. I won’t go into detail, but I would like to say a final farewell to him. He was a good guy that never disrespected me or my tight leash I sometimes have on Kyle. He always knew how to make us laugh and though some of the aspects of what happened are really terrible, we will still love him for the man he had been before this tragic problem.
In the last three months, I have also been finding more health problems with myself and I can’t figure out what is wrong with me. Despite it all I’ve been trying to stay positive. I hate that no matter what I do I seem to keep gaining weight and then losing some. It’s confusing for my body and I hate it. I have been exploring ways to improve myself even though I hate that I can’t change some of the things that are causing me to be upset.
I am glad to say that I gave my son a small, but extremely nice, birthday and Christmas. His birthday is in October, so I usually give him maybe one present so he can have better things for Christmas. I read about some parents giving their kids (they are the same age as my child) over 14 presents. Most of these presents are the really expensive things that they don’t need. Why? Maybe to make up for lack of love? I don’t know. Maybe they just like spoiling their kid. No shame in that, but I think my small Christmas with small gifts are what keep my son a nice person.